Today, we found something in the house that needs to be fixed. It joined one of 50 other things that need to be fixed. If you read my short memoir, My Trip on the Pain Pill Roller-coaster, then you know I have some health problems.
Wait...don't leave! This is not a hashing or re-hash of problems.
Over the last few years, I have had nothing but time. Some of that time was spent feeling sorry for myself. Some of the time was filled with doing the work I could do. Some of that time was filled learning about and doing meditations and positive affirmations.
When I meditate, I visualize myself in this house - my house. It has a small stream that runs beside the house. I have some soft, comfy lounge chairs there. They are placed in the shade of the forest right where the stream breaks away from the trees. Inside the stream are rocks of different sizes that make bubbling and gurgling sounds. There is always a cool breeze. I can relax and look at my dream home. If I am not in the backyard, I am in the turret. There I have a custom-made round bed where I can lie comfortably and look at the stars. While my mind is in my fantasies, I often get glimpses of things that speak to where my life is at the moment - like the Cheetah vision.
Right now, I am not in a dream home. It needs work. We don't have the money to fix it, nor can we get a home improvement loan. We have tried to move, but we can't buy a house until we sell this house, and we can't rent. We are stuck....for now.
When I am really down in it - the hopelessness, the illness, the fear - I feel like nothing will ever get better. I have to remind myself of certain things, and then I am hopeful again. I am working toward those dreams again.
This is what I tell myself:
- There are at least a million people who dream that they are where I am now. I am living someone else's dream.
When my health is poor, I remember that I can still do a lot of things other people can't do. When I look at the things in my house that need to be fixed, I remember that a lot of people went to bed last night in a box or a tent. Ran or shine, day or night, cold or hot, they are outside - while I am inside. We have family that helps us while some have no one. They are alone facing their problems alone. I have faith and hope that there is something bigger than me, bigger than my family, bigger than our earth. Some people have no faith or hope left, and they take their own life.
It has become a cliche now, but I have to remind myself that my problems are first world problems.
So, I will now get up and do what I can to make what I have the best it can be. I will practice an attitude of gratitude. I will meditate later, and I will be sitting in the backyard of my new house because one day I will be there.
I will reach that pie in the sky.
Do you do positive affirmations or gratitude work? What has been your experiences? Let us know in the comments.