Sunday, March 11, 2018

๐Ÿ’–Top 14 Weird Dating Sites๐Ÿ’‘

I can still remember when dating sites first came out. No one I knew went on them, and even if they did, they never admitted it. In one of my psychology classes, we had to do studies based on dating site profiles, and I found that there were lots of people I knew on there - nobody I wanted to date, but still, there they were.

On all the sites!!

The same people that were on the regular sites were on the Christian sites and the successful people sites and the hookup sites. One guy was on all of them and I had just seen him in the bar the night before. He was drunk and talking about being unemployed. HA! The lesson - no matter what kind of site it is, make sure you do your homework.

Here are my top 14 picks for weird dating sites.

  • - The web search advertisement for this site said "Russian Lady Dating Deal". The site also boasts that it is "bringing the world together" by letting you chat with cute Russian brides. I always find mail-order bride sites sad. Imagine the desperation one must feel to agree to go to live with the highest bidder in another country.
  • - Why would a people that are supposed to shun modern life need a dating site? Do they have a smartphone in that phone shanty by the road? I admit, I am not well-versed in the Amish culture, but I am surprised to see that they too have a dating site just for them. 
  • - I believe the original commercial stated that sometimes God needs you to act, or something like that. I always had a hard time believing that a God that could do anything needed me to join a subscription-based dating site to send me a partner. "Yes, God! I know you can send me the money in the mail. I know you can heal my cancer. I know you can impregnate a virgin. I know you can pay that electric bill after I put all my money in the offering plate. But a date? Nah, I need to join a dating site."
  • - When I first saw a commercial for this site, I thought, "What in tarnation?" I would think there were plenty of places to for country people to meet others. The sale barn, the church, the local butcher, or the rodeo. I guess I was wrong, farmers and ranchers need their own dating site as well. If you don't like the local farmer's daughters, just hop on here and find someone who would never want to leave their land, but that's fine, you don't want to leave your land either. 
  • - I don't think I would want to date anyone that sits around all day and rates people online. If you are superficial and stuck-up and you want to meet someone else superficial and stuck-up, then this may be the perfect dating site for you. Hey, if it doesn't work out, you can always try out the next site on my list...
  • - If got it, flaunt it. If you don't, just go here where no one is trying to keep up any pretenses. Once people reach a certain age, they know if they are hot, average, or below average. If the last category is you, just go here where you can meet other singles just like you. Hey, I always heard that there is a lid for every pot. In online dating, that really seems to be true.
  • - I try not to be judgemental, but this scares me. It truly does. If this is on the home page of your new dating site, "Do not upload photos of kids; poop or nude pics.", you know you are in for something different. Do not click the link unless you are ready to be frightened. I had no idea this was even a thing, and I wish I could still enjoy the bliss of ignorance. 
  • - I am calling all the hot single ladies!! Want to get your bills paid, get expensive jewelry, or take lavish trips? Here ya go!! I am calling all the married men!! Want a hot little number for a side piece that you can put on your arm for all those events where you loving wife just won't do? Here ya go!! Shite, at least these people live honest...well, to themselves and their match. Too bad, I didn't know about this before I became a middle-aged, overweight woman. Kidding guys, kidding!! ... or am I?
  • - Are you  Nicole Kidman's body double, or were you bullied with taunts of "beanpole" when you were in high school? Fret no more! Meet someone who knows everything you went through being the tallest person. They don't have to ask you what the weather is like up there.  They already know!! Women, you can put away those flats, and men, you can stand up straight. Tom Cruise and Lady GaGa need not apply.
  • - Not again! You missed your date after you got too high hitting the bong. No worries! Here you can meet other weed loving mates that will understand. Maybe when y'all are short on dubies you can go to the beach, the movies, or the skating rink. Until then, enjoy many dates vegging on the couch, eating everything in the kitchen, and laughing your ass off. Hey, that is a better date than many of my past dates. 
  • - I have food allergies, and they are nothing to sneeze at. It makes it harder when everyone else in the house can eat what they want and you can't have one of the main ingredients in most American meals. I don't find this site weird at all, but I knew that you would, so I put on here. 
  • - For the small fee of $250 you can find your genetic match. The perfect person for you based on science. Wait...wouldn't your genetic match be related to you? Before you go on your first date, you may want to go over to and check out their family tree. 
  • - WARNING -NAKED PEOPLE - I never understood nudist. Just as I don't understand thong underwear. When did we, as a culture, decide to throw out all basic rules of hygiene. I don't know though, at least you know what you are getting. With all the shapewear, flattering clothing cuts and styles, makeup trends, and hairpieces, this may the only way to really know what you will be waking up to on the honeymoon. 
  •  - Can't make it to your nearest Furry Fandom convention? That's fine, just head on over to this site and find your furry soulmate. Make sure you bring baby wipes and deodorant because after a whole day walking around in a full-body, furry costume, you may need to freshen up - a lot. You may want to read up on the culture before you go on a date thinking you will just hang out at a convention. Before you say yes to yiffing, you really need to know what it is.
    As you can see whatever your need, there is a site for you. I would end this, as I do most of my blogs, with an invitation to share with me in the comments, but that is ok. I really don't want to know.
      photo credit: Gwenaรซl Piaser * via photopin (license)