Wednesday, January 24, 2018

☕ Coffee and Other Things I Put in My Butt ๐Ÿ‘

I have a lot of intestinal issues that bring about a diagnosis of Irritable Bowel Syndrome. I was on several medications for the problems, but I didn't want to take those anymore. Fleet's enemas just weren't cutting it, and they are too harsh, so I went to Amazon and bought an enema bag. I have come to love my enema bag.

๐Ÿ’•This is our story.๐Ÿ’•

Douche Bag or Enema Bag - Doesn't Matter

"What is an enema bag?", my husband says.
"It's like a douche bag", I reply.
Me to my daughter, "Now when you call someone a douche bag, you know what you are saying."
My daughter says, "Really, mom??"

That is how the conversation went in my house when the bag came in. I was studying up on enemas and found the coffee enema was a popular one. I decided that one would be the first I would try.

I made 2 cups of coffee in my french press. Let it cool down. Put it in my bag with 16 oz of room temperature bottled water.

The first one I did took forever. I didn't know the best place to hang the bag, the best way to stand, etc.

Now they go much faster ๐Ÿ˜Š

Butt back to the first time.

I waited until no one was home. I used a vaseline lubricant, and then in went my coffee mixture. What came out was a stuff of nightmares.

You may say, "Of course it was. It's ๐Ÿ’ฉ".

Butt, it wasn't just that.

It was greasy and smelly and foul. They aren't all like that. The more you do it, the "cleaner" it is.

Me to my husband, "My ๐Ÿ‘ drank coffee today."
Husband, "Oh really? Did it take it with cream and sugar?"
"No, it takes it black." ☕

Getting into the Groove

I was worried at first, so I did an enema every other day. I rotated coffee enemas with aloe vera/water/probiotics enemas. I quickly learned that what everyone says about enemas is true, and I wondered why I put it off so long.

My stomach pains disappeared. I have more energy. I feel lighter. I have no bloat. As crazy as it sounds, I look forward to my enema.

Now that I have my routine down, it doesn't take very long. Also, since I am more comfortable with it, I am doing the coffee enema every day for 7 days. Then, the consensus is, I will only have to do it once a week.

Finding What Works - Many Paths to Relief

Some people do a warm water enema and then the coffee one. Some people do a "soapsuds" enema and then the coffee one. Some never use coffee and just do the others.

Many people strain their poop in a colander while they are doing the enema, and then they post pictures of the "stones" that come out. I just take their word for it.

I still have my standards.

Here are some if you want to see for yourself.

After I get off my seven-day coffee cleanse, I plan to do a coconut oil cleanse to soothe my colon.

I use bottled water and regular caffeinated coffee. (Decaf won't work!!) On some sites, you will find people who cook the coffee on a stove, ones who use only distilled water, and ones who use organic coffee packaged just for colon cleanses. You can decide how far you want to go with that.

Strike a Pose - There's Nothing to It

I remember when Madonna was on a big colonics kick. I think it was sometime in the 90s. I laughed and thought to myself, "How weird is she? She chooses to have someone stick something up her ass? Weird!". "Only in Hollywood!"

Well, who's laughing now? ๐Ÿ˜น ME! It's still me! ๐Ÿ˜น I have seen the benefits, and now I laugh at people who still have a hangup about it.

Stop being so stuffy! Let your ๐Ÿ‘ have ☕! 

photo credit: quimby <a href="">Pharmacy</a> via <a href="">photopin</a> <a href="">(license)</a>


  1. Good Lord Amelia, your great-granny took enemas too but we didn't put a sign out in the front yard. -Mom

    1. Well, I thought people should know. lol

    2. You're right Amelia. You're a good person for wanting to help others.
      Love, Mom